


36 Questions

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Homophobia, M/M, Minor Character Death, please read the notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 04:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18230204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: Steve agrees to a study for a friend of Pepper's.  Yes, that friend is Bucky.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I took some liberties with the 36 question survey and made it a 'study' and also that it guaranteed the participants would fall in love. I also took some liberties with how a study is run. I just read this article and wondered what would happen if Steve was part of it.  
> There's one part about Steve that was really hard to write, but I had to think of something that would be so traumatic that it would cause him to have a reaction.

Steve has no idea how he got talked into this. Pepper had come in, said she had a friend that was running a study at NYU and needed participants. What the hell was he thinking? Actually, what he was thinking was how much help Pepper had always been and immediately agreed to help. She had apparently been friends with Dr. James B. Barnes for years and he was trying to debunk a ridiculous study from a few years ago. In order to do that, he had to run another study involving the first study and that’s when it had gotten too complicated for Steve to follow and he’d simply agreed.

Now he’s sitting in a small room that feels a little too much like an interrogation room at SHIELD and waiting for said Doctor to make an appearance. Oddly, when he came into the building, no one had even batted an eye that Captain America was doing this study. There were all kinds of people here and even Sam was somewhere. His time slot had been before Steve’s, so he was probably sitting in a room just like this.

The door opens and a man comes in and something about him just makes Steve smile. He’s dressed casual, in jeans and a sweater, with his hair pulled into a messy bun at the base of his neck. He’s wearing glasses that are sliding down his nose and carrying a StarkPad. Looking up, he smiles at Steve. Extending his hand, Steve takes it. “Hi Captain Rogers, I’m Dr. Barnes.”

“Please, call me Steve.” Dr. Barnes nods, but offers nothing else.

“Do you understand the study we are doing?” Dr. Barnes sits across from Steve and lays the pad down on the table, keying in something .

“Not even a little.” Dr. Barnes looks up and seems surprised. “I’m sorry, but Pepper tried to explain and my mind wandered.”

Dr. Barnes huffs a quiet chuckle. “Then let me try to explain.” Steve folds his hands in front of him on the table and gives his full attention to the doctor. “A few years ago a study came out that basically guaranteed that if people sat and answered a certain 36 questions together, they would be in love by the time they finished.” Steve barks out a laugh. “I’m glad you see the problem with that. Anyway, I’m trying to disprove that study by conducting one of my own.” Steve looks interested. “See, all of the participants in the original study were a certain demographic and for that study to make the claim that it does, it should work for any two people.” Steve looks at him confused, but not alarmed as the doctor had expected. “What I want to do is take two people at varying points on the sexuality spectrum and try out the questions.”

“So, you’re going to put me in a room with someone that’s…”

Dr. Barnes interrupts. “Yes, you’re straight and I’m not.”

Steve laughs. “Wait, so you’re going to be my partner in this?”

Dr. Barnes snickers. “Well, I’m not going to put Captain America in a room with just anyone and I can’t exclude myself because that wouldn’t be fair to the study.”

“Well alright, Doc, let’s do this.”

Dr. Barnes grins at Steve. “Okay, so I’ll ask a question and you answer, then I’ll answer and we move through all three sets. Good?”

Steve leans back in the chair. “Fire when ready.”


	2. Set I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set I of the 36 questions. The guys get a good laugh out of some of the questions.

****1\. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?** **

Steve thinks about that for a few minutes. “That’s a tough one because there’s someone from my time, you know before and someone from now.”

Dr. Barnes looks at him, tilts his head and shrugs. “Okay, so give me both.”

Steve smiles. “From back then, it would have to be my ma.” Dr. Barnes smiles warmly. “She died before all this.” Steve indicates his body. “And I’d like her to know that I’m okay.” Barnes nods and Steve continues. “ _Now_ , I think I’d like to have dinner with Michelle Obama.” Dr. Barnes quirks an eyebrow at him. “She’s smart, funny, and strong and her new book is incredible. So yeah, that’s who.”

Dr. Barnes smiles, shaking his head. “Not what I expected, but that’s pretty cool. Okay, so if I could have dinner with anyone I think I would have to say Dr. Bruce Banner.” Steve coughs, clears his throat and looks at Dr. Barnes like his mad. “Just because I know Pepper doesn’t mean I know anyone else and he’s a world renown scientist.”

“You know I could probably help you with that.” Dr. Barnes just waves that away and looks back at the pad.

 

****2\. Would you like to be famous? In what way?** **

Steve barks out a laugh that’s long and amused. “It would be a better question for me, if it asked if I didn’t want to be famous.” Dr. Barnes laughs too. “I mean, I can’t go anywhere and I have to say, I don’t like it. I miss that little guy I used to be because he could go anywhere and no one ever saw him.”

Something about that makes Dr. Barnes really look at him. Steve blushes. “I didn’t really think about that. I guess that would be hard. Can’t even go to Starbucks and get coffee without causing a riot, can you?” Steve shakes his head. “Well, I would have to say that I would like to be famous for ripping this study to shreds.” Steve laughs again and wonders if Sam had this much fun. “No really, I don’t know if fame is really what I want. It’s more that I’d like to be recognized for caring.”

Steve leans forward on the table. “I think I can already say that I recognize you for that.” Dr. Barnes blushes and goes back to the questions.

 

****3\. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?** **

“Every damn time.” Steve turns a bright shade of red.

“Why?” It almost seems to Steve like Dr. Barnes really wants to know beyond what the study asks.

“Because I’m not good at talking to people in a casual way most of the times, so if I think about what I’m going to say and practice, I don’t embarrass myself.”

The smile that Steve gets for that is so soft and gentle that it takes him aback. “That’s actually really smart, Steve.” He looks down. “I don’t think I’ve ever rehearsed what I was going to say, but there are a handful of times I probably should have because I did make a fool out of myself.”

 

****4\. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?** **

Steve leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, biting the inside of his cheek, he seems lost in thought. “Steve?”

Shaking off whatever just crossed his mind, Steve makes eye contact with the doctor. “Yeah, sorry, just…”

“Steve, do you want to stop, this was kind of thrown on you and if it’s getting too personal…”

Steve waves him off. “No, no, it’s okay, I was just thinking about one time in particular and that was my perfect day.”

“Tell me about it.” It’s almost a plea.

Steve smiles. “It was my birthday and usually we didn’t have money, but ma had saved up for months and she took the day off and we went to Coney Island and rode every ride there. Then we sat on the beach that night and watched the fireworks. She used to tell me that they were for me and until I was about 10, I believed her.”

Dr. Barnes doesn’t say anything for awhile, then he reaches across the table and puts his hand over Steve’s. “I think that does sound like the perfect day. I honestly can’t think of anything that would be better than that.”

 

****5\. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?** **

Steve laughs so loud that Dr. Barnes can’t help but join in. When he finally calms down, he looks back at the doctor with tears in his eyes. “This morning in the shower and I would never, ever torture anyone else with my singing.”

It’s the Doctor’s turn to bark out a loud laugh. “It can’t be that bad.”

“According to Sam, dogs would run from me if they heard me.” They chuckle together.

“Well, I sang just last week at karaoke night and I sang to my sister, Becca. She asked me to never do that again.” The grinning continues and the questions are forgotten for a couple of minutes.

 

****6\. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?** **

“Now this one is just a joke for you isn’t it, Doc?” Dr. Barnes blushes and then breaks into laughter.

“I really didn’t think about it when I came in here, but it is kind of funny now that I’ve read it.” He looks up, giggling. “So Steve, you’re what, a 100 now? And you still have the body of your 30 year old self and the mind.”

“I will have you know this is body I got when I was 26! I have the body and mind of myself when I was 26 and not a day over.” They can’t help the fit of giggles that overtakes the room. There’s a knock on the door and it opens. Sam is taking in the state of the room and grinning.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to laugh this much.” He looks at Steve. “I didn’t laugh this much.”

Steve looks over at the Doctor and they start laughing again. “Dr. Barnes forgot that some of the questions might be out of date for me.”

Sam looks confused for a minute then snickers. “Wait, did you just do the mind and body question?” Steve nods. “Doc, you should have updated your pad.”

Dr. Barnes laughs. “I don’t know, that was fun.”

Sam clears his throat. “I’m headed back to the Compound, I’ll see you there later.” Steve nods and Sam leaves.

“Okay, your turn.”

Dr. Barnes looks at the question again. “I definitely want to retain my mind, so I can still enjoy things like that.”

 

****7\. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?** **

Dr. Barnes looks down at the next question. “Oh dear god, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

“What, what, now I have to know.” Steve leans in trying to see the pad.

Reading the question, Steve looks stunned then lays his head on the table trying not to cry from his laughter. “Does it count that I’ve already died?”

Dr. Barnes giggles again. “Okay, I’ll answer this one and we’ll pretend like you did too.” He thinks for a minute. “I’m going to die by using sarcasm at an inappropriate time.”

Dr. Barnes watches as a slow smile creeps across Steve’s face, breaks into a wide grin and then barely contained laughter builds into full out belly laughs.

 

****8\. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.** **

Steve thinks for a minute. “We both seem to have a similar sense of humor, we both like a good laugh and seem to like smart people.”

Barnes agrees and they move on.

 

****9\. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?** **

Again, it takes Steve a minute to answer because he’s really thinking about the question. “There’s this moment in the day, just before I get out of bed to go for a run, the sun is barely up and the street light is still casting a shadow across my bed. That moment is what I’m most grateful for. When I was a kid I learned not to take that time of day for granted because there were so many times that I didn’t know if I was going to wake up.”

Dr. Barnes sits in awe. He doesn’t even know what to say to something like that. “I was going to say my sister, but that doesn’t seem important enough.”

Steve gets up, picking up his chair and moving to the other side of the table. He sits next to Barnes, taking his hand. “Always be grateful for someone that loves you unconditionally.”

 

****10\. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?** **

“Food! It would have been nice to have more of it.” Barnes snickers at Steve again.

“Acceptance from my parents.” Steve squeezes his hand, having never let go.

 

****11\. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.** **

Steve takes a deep breath. “Sarah Rogers raised me to believe in myself and not just equality, but equity. I am an artist and love to draw random people in casual moments. I fight because it’s the right thing to do and I take care of the people that matter to me. I never had a pet, but would really like to have a dog and a cat. I used to be allergic, but I’m not anymore. I’ve never really been in love, but have felt deep infatuation. I didn’t have any siblings, so I don’t know what that’s like, but I was always jealous of those that did. My dad died when I was a baby in World War I and my ma was always proud to talk about him.” Steve doesn’t feel bad that it isn’t exactly his life story because everyone studied him in school, so he doesn’t need to go through most of it.

Barnes smiles when Steve stops talking. “I don’t have contact with my family anymore, since I came out except for my sister Becca. She’s the one that gave me my nickname, which is Bucky. My full name is James Buchannan Barnes, so that’s where that comes from. I have a PhD. I do have pets, a dog and a cat and if you want I also have pictures of them. I’ve never been in love either and can’t even claim deep infatuation because I was always so busy with school.”

 

****12\. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?** **

“The ability to shrink down to that little guy again and walk the streets of New York like everyone else.”

“The ability to get out of my own head and see the world around me.”


	3. Set II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little (a lot) more serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where I took some liberties and gave Steve a traumatic event.

****13\. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? ********

“I think there’s only one thing I’d like to know.” Steve hesitates seeming embarrassed.

“What is it, Steve? You know I’m not going to judge.” Dr. Barnes keeps holding Steve’s hand.

Steve squeezes his hand and wonders if they’ve been holding onto each other this whole time. “I’d like to know if I’m really a good man like Dr. Erskine claimed.”

It’s more of a confession than Barnes was expecting, but the more Steve shares, the more he likes the guy. “I’d say that he was spot on with that claim.”

“Thanks, Dr. Barnes.” Steve blushes.

“I think you should start calling me Bucky. I feel like we’ve gotten to know each other well enough that Dr. Barnes is too formal.”

Steve grins. “Alright, Bucky.”

Bucky blushes this time because if the deep resonance of Steve’s voice saying his name isn’t WOW then nothing is. “And if I could know anything, I would want to know that Becca is taken care of in the future.” Steve gently caresses Bucky hand. “Our parents cut me out, which I could understand considering their political views, but when Becca sided with me, they cut her out too. She won’t say it, but I know how much that hurts her.”

“Damn Buck, I’m sorry.” Bucky just shrugs.

 

****14\. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?** **

Steve suddenly looks really uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck and pulling his hand away from Bucky. Crossing his arms over his chest, he’s taking a protective stance. “Okay Steve, whatever just happened, we can skip this question if it’s going to make you look that uncomfortable.”

Steve clears his throat. “No, it isn’t that. It’s just…well…if I say it then it makes me sound like a douche.”

Bucky laughs at Captain America using the word douche. “Say it anyway.”

“I’d really like to see one of my sketches or paintings hanging in a gallery.” Then he’s turning ten different shades of red.

Bucky reaches back over, wrestling Steve’s hand away from his chest and holding it steady. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Just because you do a job that, let’s be honest, could get you killed doesn’t mean that you don’t have something else that means just as much.”

Steve bobs his head and Bucky thinks he doesn’t believe him. “Thanks Buck.”

“Okay, now it’s my turn to embarrass myself.” Wiping the hand that’s not holding Steve’s, Bucky clears his throat. “Just because I’m doing this study doesn’t mean that I don’t want to fall in love. I do.” His voice gets really quiet. “I really do.”

 

****15\. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?** **

“Wow, that’s a tough one.” Bucky smacks him in the chest and Steve laughs. “No, not like that. I mean, that’s a job, this is what I think I’ve done that worth something.”

Suddenly, Bucky has a much better understanding of who Steve really is. He doesn’t think that what he does on missions is important. He doesn’t see himself as a hero, just a guy doing a job. The fact that he’s Captain America is secondary to what Steve thinks is important. “There must be something.”

“Ah…well, I guess…after the Battle of New York I was helping with clean up. It was not quite two weeks after and I was just walking around the city seeing if anyone needed anything and there was this little girl and she’d lost her dog in the battle. I felt like an absolute jerk. Anyway, her mom was taking care of her dad because he’d been injured too, so I took her to a local animal shelter, with the parent’s permission, and helped her find a new friend.” He smiles when he remembers the look on the little girls face when she found the perfect dog. “Yeah, I feel pretty good about that.”

Bucky’s mouth is agape from all of this. Steve helped save the city from aliens, but he’s more proud of having helped a little girl find a pet. “I don’t even know what to say to that. I mean, Steve, you do realize that you’re Captain America and do things to be proud of every time you go on a mission.”

“Well yeah, but that’s because I have to, not because I want to.” That shocks Bucky and he wants to keep talking about it, but knows that have to keep going.

“Right…well, I guess my greatest accomplishment is that I didn’t let my parent’s attitude decide my life. I could have let it define me and instead I kept moving forward and doing the things I wanted.”

“That’s what I’m talking about. It’s those things that make it so we can look at ourselves in the mirror in the morning.” Out of nowhere, Steve reaches up, brushing a stray strand of hair from Bucky’s forehead. It’s an intimate gesture that neither of them registers immediately.

 

****16\. What do you value most in a friendship?** **

Steve starts laughing as soon as Bucky finishes the question. “I think I can safely say, I value humor.”

Bucky starts laughing too. “Well, I can’t disagree with that.”

 

****17\. What is your most treasured memory?** **

Tears well up in Steve’s eyes and Bucky pulls him into a hug. “Are you okay?”

Clearing his throat, but not pulling away, Steve sighs. “Uh yeah, just hit me kind of hard.”

“You want to tell me? You don’t have to.”

Steve pulls away, looking deeply at Bucky. “I want to.” They settle back, but Bucky takes both of Steve’s hands, grounding him in the here and now. “It’s the last thing my ma said to me. She died from tuberculosis, you know.” Bucky shakes his head because he didn’t know. “Yeah, yeah…anyway, she had been sick for awhile and we knew it was coming. I used to sit next to her bed and read to her or draw her. The last thing she told me was that no matter whether it’s good or bad, I needed to always remember. Even her death, I needed to remember because all of the things I remember make me who I am.”

“I wish I’d met your ma. She sounds like an amazing person. I’m sorry you lost her.” Bucky reaches up and wipes away a stray tear that tracks down Steve’s cheek. “Mine was opening the door to my first apartment with Becca. We’d been struggling for awhile. School and work was hard and sometimes we didn’t have enough to eat, so when I got my first grant and we were able to move out of the rat hole we lived in and into something better, it was the best thing that ever happened to us.”

Steve doesn’t think, just pulls Bucky into a hug, breathing in this guy that had obviously survived some of the same things that Steve had as a kid.

 

****18\. What is your most terrible memory?** **

“I think I need to take a break.” Steve got up and walked around the small room. Bucky watched him closely and whatever this question brought up, it isn’t good.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. You want some coffee?” Steve nods and Bucky leaves the room. They aren’t supposed to be apart during the study, but Bucky knows that this question might be too much for the super soldier. When he comes back, Steve is still pacing. “Listen Steve, I didn’t think about how some of the questions might affect you. If you want to call it a day, I get it.”

Steve takes the offered coffee, but doesn’t sit. “No, it’s okay. I just don’t think about some of this stuff and maybe it’s good.” Bucky sits, sipping his coffee, watching Steve. “The most terrible memory I have is…it’s…” His hands start to shake and he sits the coffee down before he spills it. “When I took the plane down I didn’t know how hard the serum was going to fight to keep me alive.” He leans against the wall shaking violently.

Bucky gets up, coming around the table, taking Steve into his arms. “Ssshhhhh Stevie, it’s okay. I’m here.”

Steve buries his face in Bucky’s neck and mumbles the rest. “I was awake…for a long time, Buck.”

Steve slumps into him and cries. “Oh god…”

It takes much more time for Steve to pull himself together. “I was frozen, but aware.”

“Jesus Steve. I’m sorry that you went through that and that I even asked that question. Does anyone know?” Bucky strokes up and down his back giving as much comfort as he can.

“No, I never told anyone that.” They sit and Steve leans into Bucky, pressing their foreheads together. “I don’t like cold very much anymore.”

“No, I would guess not.” Pulling away, Steve doesn’t let him go far. “Mine seems to minor now.”

“No terrible memory is minor. Tell me.” Steve’s become so invested in all of this now.

“My grandfather died when I was 6 and I found him.” Bucky shakes for a few seconds. “I was visiting and he’d gone out to the barn to check on the animals and had a heart attack. I went out several hours later because he didn’t come back in and found him. I didn’t know what to do and when my grandmother got home, she found us both in the barn.”

Steve wipes Bucky’s hair away from his face, with both hands, cupping the cheeks of a man he feels like he knows.   “Buck, that’s awful. Are you okay?”

Bucky snorts. “After sharing what you did and you’re checking if I’m okay? I think I can tell you honestly that you are a good man.”

 

****19\. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?** **

“Absolutely.” Bucky gives him a look asking what he means. “I would let myself have a life outside of the Avengers. Right now, I just do that job and hang around with my teammates. If I knew that one year was all I was going to get, I’d start doing all the things I keep putting off because of responsibility.”

Bucky grins. “Same.”

 

****20\. What does friendship mean to you?** **

“It means being able to pick up the phone, no matter what time, and having that voice on the other end of the phone telling you it’s all going to be okay.”

“It means not having to talk when you’re together. Just knowing that someone else gets it is enough.”

 

****21\. What roles do love and affection play in your life?** **

“None.” Steve looks a little sad about his answer. “I wish they played a role in my life, but I don’t let myself think about it. That doesn’t stop Nat from trying to fix me up all the time, but I don’t ever go.”

“Why?” Bucky’s truly curious.

“Because asking someone to be a part of this life I have is too much. I’m away for weeks at a time, with no contact allowed and that just isn’t something I should ask of another person.”

“But don’t you think you’re worth it?” Bucky sees the look and knows the answer before it comes out of Steve’s mouth.

“No, not really.”

Bucky leans back in the chair and really looks at the man in front of him. “I don’t agree with that, at all, Steve.” Steve doesn’t offer anything else, so Bucky plows forward. “Well, it doesn’t play a role in my life either. Mainly because I don’t let it. I think my parents did a number on me and convinced me that I’m not worth someone’s time.”

“Well that’s just bullshit, Bucky.”

 

****22\. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.** **

S: Smart

B: Giving

S: Funny

B: Sarcastic

S: Caring

B: Gentle

S: Open

B: Compassionate

S: Beautiful

B: Breathtaking

They both look nervous at the other when they finish, but both sport shy smiles.

 

****23\. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?** **

“Well, if we are talking about back then, I’d say my ma was my best friend and very warm. She could be strict, but that was everyone and I think the time period. If we are talking now, the team is the closest thing that I have to family and I don’t know that we are close or warm. It’s just not how we relate.” Steve thinks about that and Bucky can see the wheels turning in his head.

“We’ve already talked about my family, so as far as Becca, we are very close and our connection is very warm. We are very affectionate with each other. Our childhood was happy, but not any happier than anyone else’s, I guess.” While he’s talking, Bucky realizes that he’s drawing random patterns on the back of Steve’s hand. The blond doesn’t seem to mind and smiles down at their hands.

 

****24\. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?** **

Steve doesn’t take his eyes from Bucky’s. He’s forgotten that this is a scientific study and just feels like he’s sitting with a friend. “We had a good relationship. She worked her ass off to provide for me and I can never repay that. She was my hero.”

Bucky wishes again that he could have met Sarah Rogers. It brings his thought around to his own family. “We don’t have a relationship, so I think that answers it.”


	4. Set III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when they don't want the questions to end?

There’s a shift in the room after Set II ends. They take another break and for several long minutes, they don’t talk, just stare at the other. Steve didn’t confess to Bucky at the beginning that he’s actually bi-sexual, so these feelings that he’s having are not a surprise, but that he would have them after only a few hours is.

Bucky looks at Steve and sees passed the icon and into the man. He knew going into this that Captain America was gorgeous, but to find out that Steve Rogers is so much more than handsome. He wasn’t kidding when he called him breathtaking. And it’s not just the outside, but everything about the man is breathtaking. He honestly feels like he could sit for days and just talk to Steve.

 

****Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ...”** **

Steve doesn’t really know what to say and Bucky just shrugs at him. “You’re no help.”

Bucky giggles. “It’s not supposed to be easy, Stevie.”

“We are both in this room feeling vulnerable.” Bucky glares at him. “You weren’t going to say that were you, Buck?”

“Shut up, Rogers.” Bucky has to think because he really was going to say that. “We are both in this room feeling scared.” Steve nods.

“Definitely and I’m not even sure why.” He thinks about it for a minute. “We are both learning something about ourselves.”

Bucky gives him a ‘not bad’ kind of look. “We are both learning something about the other person.”

“I think that might be cheating, Doctor.” Steve grins free and easy.

“I think it’s allowed, Captain.” Now they both laugh. “One more.”

Steve gives him a serious look. “We are both in this room feeling that maybe there’s something to this study.” It’s a challenge and like always, Steve throws down the challenge and waits to see what happens.

Bucky stares him directly in the eyes. “We are both in this room feeling that it’s okay that this study might work.”

 

****Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ...”** **

Steve knows there’s a different air in the room now and if he’s going to be vulnerable and honest and maybe get something good out of it, then he’s going to keep saying the hard things. “I wish I had someone that I could share the fact that I’m bi-sexual.”

Bucky’s eyes bug out. “Wait…you’re…when…”

“No one asked, so I didn’t say anything.” Steve looks down at his feet.

“I’m honored that you would share that with me.” Steve looks back up and sees acceptance. “I wish I had someone that I could share everything with.”

Steve blushes because that was the first thing that popped into his head, but he’d gone the other way.

 

****If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.** **

“I think the most important thing for you to know, now that we’re friends, is that if I don’t text back or call back there’s probably a good reason.” Steve kind of smirks and Bucky chuckles.

“Saving the world is just damned inconvenient sometimes, huh?” Steve huffs a laugh. “So, we’re friends?”

Bucky seems surprised by that fact and that surprises Steve. “Well yeah, some of the stuff I’ve shared with you, I’ve never shared with anymore. Yeah, I’d say that makes us friends.”

Bucky’s smile is blinding. “Well, let’s see, I sometimes get caught up in my own head and lose myself for a little while. Like I don’t realize that it’s happened and it’s usually Becca that pulls me out.”

Steve strokes the back of Bucky’s hands. “What do you mean?”

Bucky sighs and bites his bottom lip. “I have depression and it sometimes causes anxiety attacks and when that happens, I sink into my own head-space. Sometimes lock myself in my apartment for a few days.”

Steve tilts his head, trying to catch Bucky’s eyes. They finally lock eyes. “If I can help you, you just have to ask.”

 

****Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.** **

Steve blows out a breath, biting the inside of his cheek, which Bucky has come to learn means he’s anxious. “I like that I don’t feel like your judging me and I can just be myself with you. You make me comfortable.”

Bucky leans in, pecking Steve on the cheek. “I like that when you talk to me, I feel like you see me and not Dr. Barnes.”

 

****Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.** **

“Oh god, why?” Bucky snickers and nudges Steve’s foot with his own. “I have too many to count!” That causes a full belly laugh from Bucky.

“Come on, Stevie, you have to tell me.”

Steve blushes and it’s not the first time that Bucky has called him Stevie, but the more Bucky does it the better Steve likes it. “Okay, so when I was about 12 I had a crush on a girl in my class. One day after school she stopped me on my way home and kissed me. I thought that meant she liked me too, but later I found out, the next day in fact, that it had been a dare.” He rubs his forehead seeming embarrassed, but also Bucky detects a little pain.

“Okay, she sucks and I hope that came back to haunt her when you took the serum.” Steve’s head shoots up looking shocked. “I hope she went to bed at night with whoever her lame husband was and thought, fuck, I could have had Steve Rogers.” Then Steve just starts laughing.

“Lame husband? Really Buck?” Bucky just nods.

“Okay, my turn and this one is very recent.” Steve perks up looking interested. “When I walked in here and saw you the first time, up close, I thought if I die right now, I’m all good.” He’s flirting, but doesn’t think that Steve picks up on it.

Steve picks up on it. “Well, I…” Bucky waves him off because he doesn’t want to hear the rejection until they finish the survey.

 

****When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?** **

Steve kind of chuckles. “Well the last time I cried was earlier with you.” Bucky nods. “The last time I cried by myself was a long time ago. When my ma died.” Bucky is struck by one very important thing, Steve had no one after his ma died, he was completely alone.

Steve pulls both of Bucky’s hands up to his forehead. Bucky breath hitches and then hitches again when Steve pulls them down and kisses both. There’s silence for a few minutes, then Bucky gives a weak cough. “The last time I cried was in here with you and by myself was…I guess that was about 3 days ago.”

Steve looks concerned. “Why were you crying, Buck?”

“Oh…uh…Becca got engaged and I was happy, but also not.” Steve frowns, urging him to continue. “I had one of those moments, selfish I know, but I was thinking about never finding anyone.”

 

****Tell your partner something that you like about them already.** **

“I like that you love Becca so deeply.”

“I like that you are a truly good man.”

 

****What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?** **

“Equality, I don’t think there’s anything about everyone being equal that’s a joke.” Bucky giggles.

“You just went all Captain America on me and I wasn’t prepared.” Steve frowns at him. “Sorry, sorry, but even your frown is Cap.” Then he’s just laughing and as much as Steve wants to keep a straight face, he can’t. They settle down and Bucky thinks for a minute. “I think probably using ‘gay’ as an insult.”

 

****If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?** **

“I would really regret not having told Fury to fuck off.” Bucky bursts with laughter.

“I don’t know who Fury is, so you have to explain.”

“When I first woke up they had me in this room and it was meant to fool me into thinking it was still the 40’s.” Bucky looks pissed off. “They sent this woman in and she tried to convince me that it was 1945, but there was a game on the radio from ’39 that I was actually at, so they didn’t do a very good job. Anyway, I’d tell him to fuck off for that and not just being honest from the beginning.”

“What a piece of shit!” Steve nods. “I think I would regret not telling my parents the same thing. You don’t just turn your back on your kid because you don’t agree with something about their life.”

Steve leans in and kisses Bucky’s cheek. “You’re damn right you don’t.”

 

****Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?** **

“Without a doubt, my sketch book. It has all the drawings of my ma and I don’t want to lose that.”

“How often do you draw?” Bucky knows they are near the end and doesn’t want Steve to walk away, so he’s stalling.

“When I have the chance which is to say, not as often as I’d like.” Steve knows what Bucky is doing and is thankful that he’s doing it.

“I have a pocket watch from my grandfather. I would go back for that.” He searches for something else to say, but can’t think of anything.

“Is it the same grandfather from when you were 6?”

Bucky breathes a sigh. “Yeah, my grandmother gave it to me a few years ago, even though my parents told her not to because I wasn’t part of the family anymore.”

“Jesus Buck.” Steve reaches over, caressing Bucky’s cheek.

 

****Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?** **

Steve just looks at Bucky. “Well my family is dead, what do you want me to say Bucky?” Bucky giggles and shrugs.

“I guess your team maybe.”

“Okay, then I think Sam. Sam Wilson has become as close to family as anyone. He’s a good guy and really cares.”

“I’m really glad you have someone like that. And sometimes friends become the family we choose.”

Steve quirks an eyebrow. “You been reading fortune cookies, Buck?”

“Shaddup asshole.” It’s Steve’s turn to giggle. “Definitely Becca. I don’t know if I could take it.”

“She’s your best friend?” Bucky nods. “That’s something special.”

 

****Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.** **

Steve’s been keeping count and knows this is the last question. He looks up at Bucky and knows that for him at least, Bucky’s study failed. Can he call what he’s feeling love yet, maybe not, but it’s pretty damn close. He can’t imagine not having this, having Bucky everyday to talk to, to laugh with, to hold hands with. He can see the hesitation on Bucky’s face and knows that he is feeling something similar. Sarah Rogers didn’t raise a coward and he’s not going to go down without a fight in this instance either.

“The problem that I have could get complicated, but I’m willing to risk it.” Bucky’s eyebrows rise toward his hairline. “I don’t want this to end and I need your advice on how to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

A shy smile graces Bucky’s face. It’s a new smile from all of the others that Steve has seen throughout the day. “What you should do to fix your problem is ask me to dinner, so then it doesn’t end. Then maybe tomorrow I can make you breakfast and it still won’t end.”

Steve reaches up, cupping Bucky’s cheek, leaning his forehead to the other man’s. “Then maybe in six months or so you could marry me and it won’t ever end.”

“I like your problem solving skills, Stevie.” Steve pulls him standing, backs him into the nearest wall and kisses him like he’s wanted to do since Set III questions started. Bucky moans and gives as good as he’s given.

“I think we failed your study, Buck.”

“ I don’t give a fuck about this study anymore. Kiss me again Steve.” And he does.


End file.
